Shadows of Procrastination

Or maybe it's indecisiveness... it's hard to tell these days but more and more I've found myself taking comfort in the explosive nature of creativity when it comes to sketching out scenes in their rawest, earliest forms of conception.

It's something about them.

The energy.

The spontaneous nature of where they just derive out of nothing hoping to be completed.

This is a double edged sword however... for all the potential I put into these scraps/work in progresses/roughdrafts/sketches, whatever you want to call them, they have a tendency to just sit around and potentially NEVER get done... and I hate when that happens.

But it happens ALOT.

Maybe it's fear... fear that all that I hope and see in it won't come to true light when I get nearer to finishing it. Or perhaps I love the process of building and creating so much that 'finishing' is a transgression rather than the intended transcendence I hoped for.

I wonder on these things alot.

I also like to call them Shadows of Procrastination; where nothing gets done but a whole lot gets piles up.

One Must Fall 2097

Was a looong time ago.

This was back in the days when Shareware were all the rage and Intel 80386/80486 (colloquially known as 386/486's) were, from what I remember, the most practical computers aside from Apple Macs prevalent to home introduction and use. It's what I grew up with anyway, 386/486's. With that said, it was also the point where gaming as a whole made such an impact on me, that it jump started my imagination and cemented me, rooting me to the point that I wanted to exceed my imagination.

I played the lot of early computer games many people can expect from archaic titles: Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Duke Nukem 3D, Heretic, Hexen, Rise of the Triads to name a few... quite a bit of First Person Shooter titles to be named but there was one, and probably the ONLY fighting game that ever made any success out on being a PC title (and sadly, to most these days, the greatest PC fighting game no one has ever heard or ever played)

ONE MUST FALL 2097

This game was the hallmark of all great things I remember growing up. I was probably 9, maybe 10 at the time, this game came out and it was, and to me, still is, the most greatest thing that has ever happened to me as far as life experiences go. Anyone who plays it now might not see that much about it, why it's so great or why it is so profound. But that's the thing.

You had to be there.

And for anyone who was, you know. It's just that simple.

For years the game haunted me with its amazing intro music, and even before that, the opening sequence of thunder and lightning as it brought forth the One Must Fall 2097 title, and then finally, the title screen:

As a kid, this title screen mesmerized me and even growing up, I was still awestruck by it-- truly transcended by its sheer potency of nostalgia, pride and joy I partook in this game, in every facet of its creation.

What got me though was that the fanbase for this game is practically nonexistent. It exists, but its so far underground I wouldn't even go as far as to say it has a cult following. It's more like a group of people who remember the game and even fewer who TRULY embargoed their passion into it as much as I do.

So much in fact, that when I tried to search for, say, a redux/revamp/high resolution mock up of the One Must Fall 2097 title screen... I was actually surprised that NO such thing existed except for the archaic, old 16 bit looking title screen in, what is it? I think 320 x 480 resolution? This saddened me but then I thought, "Wait... I'm an illustrator! If no one's done it yet! Why can't I?!"

And so in taking the core elements of the original One Must Fall 2097 title screen, I brought a rebirth to an old friend of my youth and gave it a makeover:

First with the lineart / Black & White:

And then the ultimate justice; the fully compiled color scheme. With all the elements and fundamentally mind blowing aspects I remember this franchise delivering to me.

I did this piece more than just for myself, mind you.

I did this piece for every One Must Fall 2097 fan out there who I hope finds this and remembers.

REALLY remembers.

Because some of us never forgot, and never will. It was 1994 when it happened, and I've been in love ever since.

Dusting off Polished Works

I tend to forget how much work I've actually done in the past till I look around in my harddrives and find loads of unfinished work and equally as much, finished bodies of work.

Behind my desk here I've this mountain of sketches I should utilize. Typically when I sketch they become works in progress; I rarely ever just doodle around in a sketchbook or anything like that. It's VERY rare. In fact, I take the process of sculpture to mind when it comes to artwork. I treat paper (or did, as for a few months now I've been using a WACOM Cintiq21UX LCD Tablet) as a medium of clay, a body of it which I mold and shape in my hands and ultimately it's that one piece I'll use up and constantly tweak around with it until it's prepped into the desired product.

Even my process is very similar to sculpting. There's alot of adding, removing, shaping out, sizing up-- you'd really have to watch my process to understand (which can be seen periodically @ http://www.livestream.com/aardcoresdojo or http://www.justin.tv/aardcore) but anyone who hasn't taken sculpture should do so. There's a wealth of skills to be learned from the process even if illustrating itself is a two-dimensional medium.

I found it extremely valuable stuff to have learned...

Anyway, time to fill up a quota of works done in the past.

Alot more to follow in the next couple of days, some being isolated into significant pieces I remember being quite particular.

Aardcore Brony

Say WHAAAT? There's been a new My Little Pony series?! By Lauren Faust?

Just remembered this!

"It's been made to my attention that My Little Pony had a redux/reimagining/reboot/revival? Yea... I had no idea until last night; and after taking a nap this afternoon I was compelled upon waking that I do something about this..."

-Aardcore 5/10/2011

I've yet to sit down and watch anything past the first episode of this reinvented My Little Pony series... it's sugar coated sweetness is WAY too overwhelming for me to handle in a single sit down. I will admit though, it was still pretty awesome.

Haven

Ever have that feeling of just wanting to seclude yourself? At home, somewhere, in your den, office, bedroom... some place you feel secure and just want to get away from it all and just keep to yourself?

Yea... I feel like I'm there most the time.

Moments

Been nearly 3 months since I'd really drawn anything and... I guess 4 times longer than that since I've posted in here? I can't even remember when the last entry was but I figure now a time as good as any to get back on track with a new fervor for catching up on artwork. Feels good to know all that wisdom I'd attained in art school hadn't dissipated or clear itself from my memory like a freshly formatted hard drive.

I'd been told that artwork relies heavily on persistence; consistency and a self discipline involving painstaking elements of repetition. This is true in the fact that I've heard so many other artists, especially while I was in school. Now I'm not saying I'm a cut above other artists but perhaps an exception? Because I've gone... MONTHS without drawing at a time, not even doodling but rather getting caught up in swarms of other fancies that catch my attention.

From video games, to work, to just plain old every day life-- things get in the way between me and my true calling yet when I return to that siren's wail of artwork; I find myself having lost nothing. Granted I will struggle for a bit but I've gone no more than maybe a week at the most and everything is back to normal.

Within these 3 months however, I took a glance at a load of unfinished work and admired the potential I'd put in them, reminding myself why I love what I do. I will be finishing these incomplete bodies of work to purge the demons of procrastination but ultimately to buckle down on getting back on track with everything and anything that needs touching up. I sometimes have to stop and take a look at what I've accomplished so far and I often forget I'd have done it at all.

Art is neat like that sometimes, that as an artist, when you look at your own work; when you've put enough time, passion and work into, you... sometimes have to wonder "Wow! I did that?" And if you haven't gotten to that point yet, I truly feel sorry for you because while an artist can be their hardest critic, you should remember that you can (or must be) your biggest fan. We, as artists, typically don't make art for others... but for ourselves; and then people connect to the work directly without intention (or at least that's how I feel it goes). You don't find your audience, you make it. Much like literature "Write what you know," the same rule applies for art. "Draw/Paint/Sculpt/Illustrate what you know," and the rest will follow.

Don't cater to anyone (unless you find some means to benefit from it) and in the end you'll be a lot better off. At least I think so...

Star Nomad

This is my entry to the Inspired By Images Of Eve Competition 2. More details and links to all entrants can be found at Starfleet Comms

So as I’m sitting here in this cockpit staring out into open space in mid-warp, I can’t help but wonder…

Can warping technically be considered travelling without moving? … I’d like to think so…

Traversing from one system to another. From one end of the known galaxy to the other... you tend to forget just who you are and where you came from when all it all feels like there’s just no one who can relate; or oddly enough, they can, and is where the trouble begins. How many others out there among the stars, despite being so far away, are yet closely aware of the evils Tranquility hides? Within every moon's shadow or lurking in the depths of some massive, wrecked ship of distant battle's past? Or behind some rock in an asteroid belt….

Trust no one.

Believe no one.

Become no one.

This is why I fit myself tight within this ship, an Atron Class Gallente Interceptor Taranis, which I've named on its behalf: Rogue66.

That number itself is no unintended interval or magic number. It’s the number of ships I’ve flown in thus far, with this ship being my most recent, and yet I laugh to admit, my longest running outfit through the systems, #66. When you’re on your own you tend to learn some very harsh lessons… and after 65 previous lost ships, those lessons tend to stick no matter how much you try to repel them with pride, or optimism. Believe me, it’s not that I’m a bad pilot, or that I make poor decisions in my ship; it’s more like I make awful decisions (or have terribly bad luck) as a pilot when it comes to trusting who I believe I should, or could, trust… or believing 125mm auto cannons could have gotten the job done, but that’s beside the point and only happened once.

The point is that in Tranquility, there are a lot of capsuleers out there eager to make their mark, and about just as equal in numbers of whom would love to leave their mark on you. From miners to courier service fleetsmen, to pirates, mercenaries and vigilantes who believe they can make a difference in however method they feel they should fit in the niche of open ended possibilities. In one way or another, directly or indirectly, we’ve all had our run ins with these variable types. Some of them even mixing inbetween self-imposed occupations. A majority of these possibilities occur in corporations.

Yet at this point from what I’ve experienced I could care less for the politics, shoulder rubbing, sometimes bootlicking master & servant games that go on in some of these corporations, however many there may be and the inner workings of what they propose to be as I’ve had my fair share of those as well. I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m just saying there’s a bit of socializing involved that perhaps I’m just too uncomfortable with. After putting on a faux smile, strapping into some handed out frigate by said corporation to fight for their cause later to realize I was used as cannon fodder and that my trust into that corporation, which at first was bold and new, had become thrown out and used.

I’m more than certain there are countless others out there who have felt this same pain of betrayal or overlooked security from others who should be there but never were, even, from the get go.

So what does this have to do with my ship and I?

Well, lately Rogue66 has proved to be a bit of a surprise over the countless others which usually ended in grim demise. As of late, 66 has shown to be quite formidable despite being slow on the uptake… and by that I mean she’s not exactly the fastest thing on turbines but she’s deadly reliable. I’d only heard about Taranis interceptors here and there but the oddball circumstances and specs about them seemed to fit in my situation. I wanted something different, yet attractive… so that’s where her Gallente looks come in. I wanted something strong, but not dramatic… so I found out her armaments could pack a dragon kick to the chest, so to speak, of power under the right circumstances… I wanted to be alone… and oddly enough I have two Hobgoblin drones packed away in the drone bay!

After all the insurance money from all those lousy ships… after countless hours of jettison-canister mining in a Minmatar frigate class Burst... salvaging wrecks and selling the parts… after being chased around and away by random pirates of all kinds, I’ve finally made it this far, to which I hope should be my last, my now, Rogue66.

As I think it should be.

Hm…

66’s warp speed is pitching, we must be getting close to the other end of this tunnel by now. What a nice way to stop and reflect on what my purpose here in Tranquility should be…

End the end I suppose it all doesn’t matter… and perhaps there already is someone, somewhere, out there having said what I just said. If that’s the case….

Then why do I still feel like I’m the only one saying it?

Microcosm much, I suppose…

…

There’s something unfamiliar smudged or possibly squashed onto my windshield… best to clean that off next time I dock.

[Warping to Thiarer VII – Moon 4 Ammatar Fleet Assembly Plant prior to making dock attempt]